panic

what do i stinkin want? i'm so confused and on ends....i wish that it was easier, that i didn't have to make all the decisions and all the moves...i am so tired of making the decisions, doing everything...it's wearing me out....why can't it just be simpler? why do i feel like i am juggling my life in my hands? Because i am...i feel like i am in candy land and i keep having to go back spaces and it suck, terribly sucks...and this is my calm down because i feel like i am having a panic attack.... :(

like a child

I feel like a little child who has fallen and hurt themselves and although I am seeking the comfort and love of my parents hands, I am running from that comfort in fear of losing my independence...but I want that love, I want that comfort...I want my independence and I don't want someone to question it...but I just wish that I had hope, wish I had something to actually hope for and wish that those "promises" God placed in my heart made me smile, feel invigorated, filled me with hope....when in reality, where I stand...there is terror...fear...hopelessness.....